I wish I would have wrote a little more on my last post . I find it a little less coming from the heart but more an idea that I wanted to get on paper I think I'll review it more later . I have no time right now . An emergency came . And I have to run to a morning friend


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

the Power of Repetition and Prayer

i found myself lecturing to my classmates today about the importance of repetitious learning and as i walked away after repeatedly stressing it. it came to me that prayer and studying are the same. in one of my readings
Arthur Kurzweil states :

"When you study the Torah, you aren’t just studying the word of God. According
to Jewish belief, Torah study is actually an authentic encounter with God. The
Torah can be viewed as a collection of concentrated emanations and transmutations
of divine wisdom. I’m a Jew who studies the Torah in one form or
another every day. I’ve been studying the Torah for nearly 40 years, and I’ve
come to believe that the Torah is the most profound collection of wisdom
and guidance I’ve ever encountered."

in my experience, after nights of prayer and study i have found that my faith and my relationship with god growers closer, i can at points feel him, during math class, when i feel levels uncertain and nervousness, i feel his presents all around me like an invisible ball of light.

prayer is a reminder to yourself to be godly, to try and be the best person you can be! when you pray, the teaching are reaffirmed, just like touching the Mezuzah, a renewed feeling of gods everlasting presence, if prayer isdone over and over

the nights that i dont pray i feel a profound sense of sadness and dis-pare. disconnection. i spent the last hours deep the study of Torah, feeling a profound sense of shame and guilt, for things that i have done in the past. that the Torah has explained in bitter detail. g-d is a teacher at times, nevertheless let us carry on with lesson of repetition:

One of the 613 mitzvot is to recite the Shema twice daily


the full Shema consists of three paragraphs:

• Deut. 6:4-9, loving God, learning Torah, and passing on Jewish tradition to our children. The passage also refer to the mitzvot of tefillin and mezuzah.
• Deut. 11:13-21, positive consequences of practicing the mitzvot, and the negative consequences of not.
• Numbers 15:37-41, which speaks about the 40 year journey from Egypt, fulfills the commandment to recall the Exodus every day.

Another purpose of the bedtime Shema is to fall asleep while saying words of Torah.

of my classmates favorite sayings is from my lips to god's ears

see in this case, repetition does not only help strengthen the bond i have with almighty but, for this moment. close your eyes and feel him. he is everywhere calling you. wish you the best in your work, your life, yourself

for a more powerful night sleep and more info go here to chabad.org

Notes From the Editor

i just finished writing "satisfaction in yourself and others"

that is meant as a check list,
to go over with, as i grow i will be using that check list, it's important for me to have guides and reviews of special things i hit upon. this process is draining. i am extremely drained. i'd like to point out that this blog is written in the perceptive of a student. and not as a teacher and as i grow i will be posting, i like to remind you that this is spiritual learning, a lonely inner journey, every time i feel alone or scared or hopeless i call out to the almighty and ask him if he's there. and he always responds that he is

god bless you

miss you

Satisfaction in yourself and others

happiness lies in balance, hopefulness is a balance

always be asking: am i actually satisfying the needs, as to what it means, to be a human being?

the truth is that one set of needs will always crowds out one other set of needs

1. Material
2. Emotional /psychological/ love
3. Intellectual
4. Spiritual

what happens? we become unsatisfied

• Material Needs: (such as security, sustenance and shelter)The first kind of materialism, and the one in reference to which the word post-materialism is used most often, refers to materialism as a values system relating to the desire for fulfillment of material needs
• Emotional /psychological/ love Needs: (Security – safe territory and an environment which allows full maturity and development)
  
  Attention (to give and receive it) – a form of "mental nutrition"
  
  Sense of autonomy and control – having volition to make responsible choices
  
  Being emotionally connected to others
  
  Feeling part of a wider community
  
  Friendship and intimacy with someone who is accepting of the total person, flaws included
  
  Privacy – opportunity to reflect and consolidate experience
  
  Sense of status within social groupings
  
  Sense of competence and achievement
  
  Meaning and purpose
  
• Intellectual Needs: (thought and reason) critical and analytical thinking "Need is a total state of the human being - and at birth we are almost nothing but need." Janov argued that for the helpless newborn, survival is at stake in nearly every second of existence
  Janov claimed that when needs go unfilled for too long, Pain is the result... examples are : how we interact with one another. learning to interact with one another, for this subject intellect will not be book smarts
  
  
• Spiritual Needs: (taken from the writings of Simone Weil)
  
  
  

  The Spiritual Needs of the Soul

  The soul needs food just as the body needs food, according to Weil. This food comes in the form of meeting the obligations that encourage the soul to grow and mature. These needs include the following.
  Order
  The need for order reflects Weil’s overall belief that the universe follows a rigid course of cause and effect. This order, however, relates to the ability of all members of a society to keep the obligations that they must observe for a free and just society to exist. This order is a balancing of obligations and needs. Without this balance, the society becomes sick and ultimately may die.
  Unlike things in the natural world, however, where there are opposites and extremes one must maintain a mean, the true nature of order allows all spiritual needs to be met and satisfied. With natural needs and desires, there are polar opposites, but with spiritual needs, they all need to be present for true freedom and justice to exist.
  Liberty
  Liberty relates to the ability and freedom to make choices. The need for individual choice is weighed against the rules of society, thereby limiting our choices. Liberty and choice relate to maturity — mature individuals grow up understanding their own liberty depends on the liberty of others and the ability of society to control the negative actions of others. The rules that are imposed should accord with conscience. And though the realm of action may be restricted, for people of goodwill and conscience, they are second nature and accord well with the liberty of all members of a society.
  Obedience
  Obedience comes about through the free consent of all members of the society that are affected. There is obedience to rules and to those who enforce the rules and exercise authority over others. When these are obeyed through a free and open consent, there is not servility but obedience. Consent is the heart of obedience — since obedience out of fear of punishment or hope of reward breeds servility. She notes that in her own time, men are starved for obedience — yet there are those [read Hitler] who have exploited that fact and enslaved men instead.
  Responsibility
  What each person needs to feel useful and indispensable in their social life. Many people want to know the worth of their work; therefore, they want to know what the big picture is, how their work fits into the larger personal, social and related dimensions. People need to know the part that they play in every great or small undertaking. Closely related to responsibility is the need for initiative — the possibility to show your leadership.
  Equality
  Each individual deserves respect simply as a human being. Societies where opportunities depend on natural talents and expertise produce some inequalities. Society must ensure that these inequalities do not impinge on this need for equality. One way to obviate this is to provide stiffer penalties for those in positions of authority and power than for those without this status.
  Hierarchism
  Veneration of superiors as symbols, of what? “That realm situated above all men and whose expression in this world is made up of the obligations owed by each man to his fellowmen.” The superiors should acknowledge this as the source of their authority, not their personal powers. “The effect of true hierarchism is to bring each one to fit himself morally into the place he occupies.” Reader's comment on this point: It is important to point out the distinction that Weil makes between legitimate and illegitimate hierarchies... She stresses (The Need for Roots, Study for a Declaration of Obligations towards Human Beings) that the aspiration to equality (and to obedience) is never violated as long as the person finds himself operating as part of a legitimate hierarchy. Also the fact that in almost any society, particularly in the most complex (but also in simpler ones), the same individual is apt to occupy different positions within a wide spectrum of hierarchies involved throughout the completion of the different tasks one is called upon to participate in as part of a specific community... I have often stated that many people today show scorn for hierarchies in general as a result of the fact that few legitimate hierarchies have survived in our day and age, so that the idea itself of a hierarchy bears a sour ring to it -a charge of paternalism. The task then for us would be to try to distinguish clearly between what might constitute a legitimate hierarchy in each instance and what should not be considered such. The existence of political parties as a means of securing "democracy" can then be shown to indulge catastrophically in creating illegitimate hierarchies and, consequently, to do great harm to our ability to fulfill our aspiration towards obedience and equality. Sylvia Valls www.institutosimoneweil.net
  Honour
  This has to do with the respect due to each human being as part of his social environment. It is recognition of his role in and activities as part of a greater social purpose — this links individuals to a past and to the actions of those who went before him or her. Oppression rubs out true honor and the traditions and past accomplishments of men and women are extinguished. They lose their “social prestige.” Conquering rubs out these traditions and this memory, thereby desecrating the memory of those who have gone before and denying members of the conquered society and relationship to the heroism and traditions of their past. Instead, they are made to honor and venerate the heroes and heroines of the conquering nation. Modern societies have a warped sense of honor — while they honor certain types of heroes such as aviators, millionaires, and others like them. But the heroism of miners and others are left unacknowledged.
  Punishment
  There are two types of punishment: disciplinary and penal. Disciplinary punishment puts people back on track after making a mistake, much as we do for children. Failings against which it would be too exhausting to fight if there were no social support. Penal punishment welds a man back into society again after he or she makes/commits a crime of their own accord. This is best done with consent on his part — “the only way of showing respect for somebody who has placed himself outside the law is to reinstate him inside the law by subjecting him to the punishment ordained by the law.” But punishment as fear is wrong. Punishment must be an honor. “It must not only wipe out the stigma of the crime, but must be regarded as a supplementary form of education, compelling a higher devotion to the public good. The severity of the punishment must be in keeping with the kind of obligation which has been violated, and not with the interests of public security.” This last comment shows Weil’s concern that crimes committed by those with more public authority and power should be punished more severely in many cases than those committing “lesser” crimes.
  Security
  By security she means that a person is free from fear and terror. Importantly, she does not mean something analogous to "safety" or "protection from harm."
  Risk
  For Weil, risk is a danger that provokes a deliberate reaction in someone, but not beyond her capacity. The absence of risk dissolves a person's courage which in turn makes her more susceptible to fear.
  Freedom of Opinion
  The big thing to note here is her emphasis on the individual. Only individuals have opinions. This is important, because she opposes this idea to the idea that associations or corporations have opinions as well. This is seen in some countries, particularly the United States of America, where companies and political parties are said to have the right of freedom of speech.
  Weil also asserts that individuals should be responsible for their words. They should not be simply allowed to express any shocking opinion, unless they are willing either to admit that they don’t stand behind their words or that they do; in the most egregious situations, individuals could be penalized for making outrageous statements that spurred others to perform immoral acts.
  Truth
  For Weil, truth is one of the most important needs of the soul. She says that all people should be nurtured in truth and be protected from sources of untruth, such as newspapers, false media accounts, and propaganda. Her main focus seems to be on the laborers again. She notes that a laborer who spends 8 hours a day working must not be expected to be able to have to distinguish between what is true and false in the papers or other media. They must expect that what they see, hear, or read is invariably true. To ensure truth in the media, she suggests setting up special courts to which those who believe that someone is spreading falsehoods can present their case, their evidence, and at which a determination on the evidence can be made. For Weil, the dissemination of lies and falsehoods is a crime as dangerous as any other, if not worse than others because it attacks the human soul’s “most sacred need — protection against suggestion and falsehood.”
  

Uncertainity . Breakups

Broke up with the boyfriend in the past few days (it takes a few days for me ) Yes . Even extremely spiritual people break up . Faith in the almighty will not keep you together. I have to work on anger issues left over from a past relationship . From one man that left and never came back .

I have agreed to enter counseling . To let go of this anger . And very dark and intrusive behavior . I will be posting on my progress as it happens . I love u. god bless miss u

3 parts to Anger:

-Feeling . Someone provoked you .That which you cannot control.

-Reaction. Which you can control

-Resentment. letting someone you really hate live rent free in your mind .
-

Working on a new post here is a sneak peak...

[Sneak peak]

how did i even get to this point? we must ask ourselves this question periodically in order to develop a sense of self. a sense of purpose and a sense of journey

like most students embarking on their studies it starts with a class.
and the love of my life, my boyfriend
as my twitter profile suggest i am dating a Jewish man,
like any inter-faith, inter cultural relationship it comes with it's hardships.

wrapping my mind around a culture of Jewishness it a task so huge so vast, yet so rewarding

because i believe Catholics and Jew, speak an entire different language about shame, sex,love, devotion more shame,(you get the point)


my research started one rainy day... like most good stories do. in the library. my instructor had told us for an assignment we had to read either the Torah or the Koran, since i knew nothing about the Torah and was dating a Jewish man, it was a natural decision
my boyfriend had taken a 60-70 hour a week job, so finding new ways to connect became my new mission in life,

YouTube Favorites

working towards your g-dliness and holiness is hard, i use a tool i already have to incorporate my daily torah and my daily prayers

a view of some of my Jewish and non Jewish you-tube favorites, the psalms are for night time. the rest are good to keep, before or after prayers . i pick a few to be close to G-d.
as a i grow i will be adding my Technology tips of spirituality, the ways i use technology to stay close to the almighty